Frequently Asked Questions

Humanism is a non-religious way of looking at life that places people at the very centre, our shared humanity is our common bond and that is what connects us. It encompasses equality and empathy, compassion and tolerance, freedom of choice, and also a responsibility, not just for our own lives, but the lives of others too. We are each responsible for living in such a way that we respect and enhance the life experiences of those around us - think for yourself, act for everyone.

We  believe that there is no afterlife, that this life is the only one that we have and as such we make the most of each and every day . 

Many people who have not heard the term humanism will identify with the concepts and ideas and may even consider that their lives are led in a way that would be seen as humanist.

One of the most defining aspects of Humanism is inclusivity, at a Humanist ceremony everyone is welcome no matter what their faith, belief or lifestyle, not only are they welcome they are always included. There is often time within a humanist ceremony for those with differing faiths or beliefs to be with their own thoughts or prayers.

Humanists UK explain it very well here  https://understandinghumanism.org.uk/

We are trained and accredited by Humanists UK, meaning that we have undergone thorough training to ensure that we are a safe pair of hands on your wedding day. We are part of a network of celebrants so if the unthinkable should happen and I break my leg the day before your wedding one of my colleagues will be able to step in and things will carry on brilliantly regardless.

We are also required to continually keep ourselves updated and accountable so there is a lot of continued professional Development and peer reviews to ensure that we are always at the top of our game.

Extremely ! One of the many things that I love about Humanism is the inclusivity. Everyone should feel safe, loved and celebrated exactly as they are, in all their quirky splendour, and I am passionate about making it so. So whatever gender, age, sexual orientation, size, race, colour, culture, ability, religion or spiritual belief you are welcome and safe with me.

If you do have any questions or queries please just let me know gill@quirkyceremonies.com

and I am happy to be led by you.

Not at all, a Humanist ceremony will be a centred around the individuals rather than a religion. We are all about equality and creating ceremonies that are personal and meaningful.

Sometimes when the couple each come from very different backgrounds and a ceremony centred around religion is inappropriate they chose a Humanist approach as we can include symbols and rituals belonging to both sides and create something unique and fitting that is reflective and understanding of both cultures.

In a word NO, this is not true.

Humanism is a non-religious approach to life and as such I will not lead an act of religious worship. This is partly due to being respectful of the religion involved, I am not a believer so it would be dis-respectful of me to act in such a way.

However one of the most defining aspects of Humanism is inclusivity, at a Humanist ceremony everyone is welcome no matter what their faith, belief or lifestyle, not only are they welcome they are always included and if there is a prayer or a hymn that holds a particular significance, to those at the heart of the ceremony, it can be included. 

For example if your Grandmother's favourite song was a hymn and you would like to include it as a tribute to her we can do so, or if a member of your family is religious and would like to read the Lords Prayer then they are more than welcome to read it aloud.

A symbolic act is really anything that you want it to be, rituals have been a part of human life going way back when and are there to connect people, whether that be the couple, the families or the whole room of people. Some examples include,

Handfasting - this can incorporate children or other key people in your life

Exchanging Rings - as a symbol of your love and commitment to each other

Ring Warming - your rings can be passed throughout the room as people wish you well

Lighting a Unity Candle - each of you light a candle of your individuality and together you light a Unity Candle which represents the joining of your lives.

There are many, many others and I have a wealth of information that I can share with you.

A Humanist Wedding is Amazing! 

But why? It is as simple as the personal touch - as a Celebrant I will spend time getting to know you, I am curious about people, I love to hear the stories of their lives, how you met, the journey of your relationship, your hopes and plans for the future, the reasons why you have chosen to share your vows of love and commitment. Our meetings will be friendly, fun, casual and involve copious amounts of coffee  - or wine depending on the time and location - and information will flow organically rather than filling in a long questionnaire. Making the resulting script far more personal and romantic - where romance is not defined in gestures marked by flowers or chocolates but in the more unusual, holding an umbrella over you whilst you wait for a bus in the rain or dropping everything to fetch that tub of ice cream from the freezer when you have had a long day.

These stories, the tangible and the not so tangible are then woven together with readings, poetry or tributes, with music and laughter and love and romance to create a unique script that is all about you, one that you will love and your guests will truly engage with with, so that when you finally say "I do" the whole room will celebrate with you.

We can also include the weird and the wonderful, the bold and unusual, the romance and the fun - anything that makes you the quirky people that you are.

Contrast this with a bland and duty bound council official who can see tens of weddings a day so does not have the opportunity to get to know you and there is no comparison.

Initially

• Our first step is a quick chat over the phone or over zoom, to make sure that I understand what you are looking for and that you feel comfortable with me as your celebrant*

Planning

• Hooray! You decide to book me, we are doing this!
• We book your date into the diary and I send you some questions to think about before our first get to together.
• We then plan a face to face meeting, ideally somewhere friendly, comfortable and relaxing as we will be together probably about 2-3 hours chatting and getting to know e ach other properly and discussing ideas and styles so that I have lots of information to begin drafting your wedding script.
• We can set up a WhatsApp group for all those little ideas and queries between the planning meeting and your wedding day itself.
• I then write your personal wedding script including all the fabulous, quirky things that we have talked about and discussed, add in the music, the readings and the magic that brings it to life and make it uniquely yours. 
• You are then able to suggest tweaks or amendments until you are totally happy.
• A day or two before your wedding I am happy tp meet you for a rehearsal at the venue or by video if that is better for you.

On The Day

• I am exclusively yours for the day, I only ever book one wedding a day so I am completely flexible and there to help.
• Travel to and from your venue.
• Happy to help with whatever needs doing before the ceremony, I also have a "Just in Case" bag with everything from safety pins and sewing thread to pens and paper because you never know when you will need them.
• Conducting your fabulous, personal and Quirky Ceremony, we will include everyone and make sure that your wedding ceremony is at the heart of your day.
• Include any symbolic acts that you have chosen.
• Create a beautiful Wedding Certificate for you to sign on the day.

Afterwards

• I will send you a presentation script of your wedding ceremony so that you can enjoy and reflect upon your perfect day.

*It is important that you choose the right celebrant for you, just like our couples, all wedding celebrants are different but what we all want is to make sure that you have the best wedding you can imagine so if I am not for you I am sure to be able to suggest another of my colleagues who may be a better fit.

My charges for 2024 are £700 and for 2025 £750

When we first chat I will be able to give you an all in quote - there are no hidden expenses.

The quote will be based on geographic location, anything within a 2 hour drive is included, and whether I will need overnight accommodation.

Payments are made in 3 instalments, the first when you book the date, the second after the planning meeting and the third two weeks before your wedding.

Absolutely I will ! I love to travel, so if you want me, I am happy to pack a bag and come with you. Just let me know !

Fantastic ! I look forward to hearing from you, drop me an email at gill@quirkyceremonies.com or give me a call on 07971 315515

More details on What Happens Next can be found above on the About Humanist Weddings page.

There is no getting away from the fact that at the moment humanist weddings in England, Wales and the Isle of Man are not yet legally recognised, which does mean that you will need to have a separate registration ceremony to "sign the marriage register" held by the council registrars.

But this does work in your favour, as there are literally no restrictions (other than securing the landowners permission) as to where you can choose to get married. So if you have always fancied getting married at the bottom of your garden - we can do it! If you want to trek to the top of a Cumbrian Fell and say your vows in the great outdoors - we can do it! If you would rather marry quietly, just the two of you in the bookshop where you met - we can do that too! You can also get married in more traditional venues  - the choice is absolutely yours.

Couples almost always choose to think of the humanist ceremony as their ‘real’ wedding – it is the one attended by all their loved ones, where they made their personal and heartfelt vows, and saw their love expressed most beautifully and most perfectly.

The Legal Bit

In order to be legally married you will need to grab a couple of witnesses and head to your local registry office to say the official words and have the marriage registered in the marriage register. This is usually done a few days before your "Wedding Day" for simplicity but can be done in a separate ceremony on the day if you wish.

Registrars do offer a simple registration service known as a "statutory legal registration (of marriage)" which will cost around £58 depending on the geographical area you are in. Registrars are obliged to offer this service but seldom advertise it so you will probably need to ask.

Think about it this way - when you register a birth, it is done quietly and privately, the real welcome and introduction of the baby is a separate event, where you can choose where and how to celebrate. Similarly with a death, the registration is a simple signature, it is the funeral or memorial where people gather to say goodbye. So for your humanist wedding you and a couple of witnesses say the words, sign the register and then turn your focus on enjoying the Wedding that you have always dreamed of with no restrictions.

You make all the choices !

For more information check out https://humanists.uk/campaigns/human-rights-and-equality/marriage-laws/

Yes ! Absolutely it is  - this is your opportunity to get married in exactly the way you choose, no restrictions on where you can exchange your vows, no scripted words that have to be spoken - only choices, as to who you want to be there, how you want the day to look and feel and exchanging vows with the person you love most in the world, surrounded by love, respect and inclusivity. There will be love, laughter, revelry, music and dancing and with your quirky ceremony at the very heart of it, it is a day that not only you, but also your guests, will remember for ever.